haloeater

Here, in the darkness preceding sleep, the ringing in my ears is drowned out by purrs and the faint sounds of crickets and traffic. I smell the odd combination of witch hazel, fennel, and fabric softener (from natural ingredients, and from a company in the city where I wish to live, so it feels local). Paw prints circle, circle, circle, and settle on the small of my back - just enough pressure to ease the tension. My mind is racing, splattered with colors and flooded with images of smiles and laughter and the time I couldn't see the lake through the reeds because I was too short. As I close my eyes, the purrs and the faint sounds of crick

You'd think it'd be simple an organic beat like heart drumming or rain drops plunking on the roof outside it's a love-hate affair, really nothing ever comes out the way it sounds inside my head line breaks and capitalization rarely appear properly and consonance and assonance only make cameos everything I've been taught has degraded over time I'm much older now so life is complicated that's what I keep telling myself as time passes I just run out of rhymes and all the stuff I used to use instead I'm overcome with images of babies and fluffy things how am I supposed to write when I'm not pissed off!? You'd think it'd b

I still remember when you lifted your face to the sky it turned your lips blue and smeared across your face as cotton candy I raised my fingers and twirled some down for myself only to watch it slither down my arms and over my body until it was dripping from my clothes. My smile stretched from here to there even while there changed and you changed And though I cannot see your face any longer I can still feel your lips and my hands still smell like sugar.

all i've ever known has swollen and grown, stretched, sweat and sullen things wretched and tumbled from my mouth to the floor can't speak anymore can't hear anything, anyone but that same silly drum beats harder and i know everything that's grown hasn't grown too tall and as i fall there's still a voice humming, still a beat drumming, still the same undulating, underlying, trivial themes. but it's all the same! or is it? something greater has taken a hold of me, taken orbit maybe age has lifted more than it's pulled and sagged and stretched but all i've ever felt has crumbled and flown, fluttered, crashed and tumbled down a

i heard something other than what i thought i would, what i thought i should. i feel something other than what i used to feel, where i used to feel. i've become someone other than who you used to know, who you used to touch. i know someone other than who you used to be, who you are now you see. it's best you take a few steps back. take stock of what i've been telling you. maybe it's something other, something better than you thought you might save me from. i felt something other than what i felt for you, what i've felt for you. i am someone better now, someone wiser now and i won't repeat old mistakes.

if my fingers were the roots of my dejection then i'd stretch them o'er the miles and undetected i'd slip inside, in-between your face and the cold reflection it makes in my eyes in my own mirror. fight or flight, darling. how could you even think of such primal things when i am not there to soothe them away with delicate sways of my hips and my fingertips on your skin? it's criminal, i know it . just swallow deep and maybe time will grant my one desire and speed the hell up.

it is dark here. is it dark there? i can't hear you. are you out there? i waited here. did you wait, dear? i don't know, dear, where you go, dear. you can find my whole inside in a hole i currently reside you will find my soul is shattered. words are scattered, and contrived, dear. my inspiration has grown thin; blame it on my old addictions. but i still can turn a phrase even if i don't amaze anyone.

my innards knot beneath the weight of air invading my throat, pushing down, down until i implode, tripping over the words that once pooled quietly under my tongue; still - a lake amongst the stones of my teeth undisturbed until now. the laughter has faded from my eyes - nay, hidden behind my irises and corneas, deeper, deeper where even you - the plague upon me - cannot see. there is a fire growing there; it is my rage, and you, you are the spark upon which it birthed, flourished, and sought to swallow me from inside out.

the world slides out from under my feet pulse tick-ticks in uncommon beats ground turns blue and the sky turns green and the world slides out from under me something grand is happening the world slides out from underneath my feet float high above my knees I lament the myth of gravity nothing here to keep me grounded nothing here to keep me here nothing here to keep myself here (hm hm hm hm) and my pulse tick-ticks uncommonly slow drum beats down inside of me and the world slides out from under my feet the world slides out from under me

words dance like blades on my tongue, not like they did when i was young. the passing years have made me numb - not like they did when i was young, scraping and biting and pecking and picking and peeling away the emotions that once flowered like onion petals, only to curl and be eagerly devoured.